Pickleball Holy Balls Performance Tee

A note, begun by the Chief Concierge: The institution presents, with what dignity can be mustered, a performance textile bearing the legend "Holy Balls." One had hoped for Latin. The present speaker was assured the garment possessed gravitas, and he is, as ever, prepared to be—

—OH, WE ARE NOT DOING LATIN TODAY, PICKLESWORTH. SIT DOWN. This, beloveds, sweat-soaked disciples of the soft game, is HOLY BALLS — the only performance tee BLESSED BY A BALL WHO HAS SEEN THINGS. Moisture-wicking? My dear, it wicks your SINS. You will dink. You will sweat. You will ASCEND. Ridinkulas!